er husband Bambi del Castillo recently died after 21 years of marriage, but former model Bessie Badilla remains gracious while mourning the man she loved—and promises to keep it together for their three daughters

Former model and TV personality Bessie Badilla shows no sign of mourning after the death of her husband Vicente “Bambi” del Castillo. She even jests that now she no longer has to be the corporate wife. She can finally let go and be a “fag hag,” a label she has carried since her halcyon days in the local fashion scene.

She arrives 30 minutes before the shoot, applies her own makeup, and ties her hair neatly in a bun, without any stylist or assistant to prep her up. Unlike today's crop of models who are too self-conscious about their looks and need to be prodded, Bessie lets go of her inhibitions in front of the camera. Models who were trained by former fashion director Gary Flores were taught to be self-reliant and punctual, and were made to practice projection in front of the mirror everyday. When it came to pictorials, the photographer simply had to design the light and capture the model's special moments as she unabashedly emoted. She gushes over the cut of the black draped gown by Australian designer Wayne Cooper, which flattens her stomach and creates the illusion of curves. She has grown to a size 6 or 8 from her modeling days of size 0 or 2. Yet, Bambi would often flatter his wife and say, “You look better every year. You were too thin before. Now I like to embrace you with all your laman.”

She looks great at 48, and doesn't hide the fact that she takes advantage of cosmetic surgery every time she's in the Philippines . Bessie recalls how, when she would pick up her teenage daughter, Blanca, her daughter's 18-year-old male batch mates would leave their girlfriends just to ogle Bessie. One of the boys cried, “My god, you're a MILF!” When she asked her daughter what the acronym meant, Bessie was both appalled and titillated. “MILF stands for ‘Mom, I'd like to f--k,'” says Bessie. “I didn't know if I should bonk those boys on the head.”

Bessie is her usual jolly self in front of people, but privately she weeps. Bambi died of an aneurysm in the central cavity of his brain last May 28, three weeks before his 56th birthday, and four months short of his retirement. She found him dead in the den of their home in Stanford , Connecticut , one of the enclaves of the old rich. Other widows had advised her to keep talking about his death, as this would help her see things in perspective.

“We don't cry and cry. We celebrate his life. Bambi did what he was supposed to do, and he did it so well. When he died, everything was in place. But I felt our life together was so short,” says Bessie of their 21-year marriage. “He never had a chance to enjoy things so much without having to work all the time.”

Bessie met Bambi in 1985 through a common friend. She was 27, at the peak of her career, and Bambi, then 35, was an international commodities trader for Philip Oceanic of Solomon Brothers. When Bessie flew to Paris to model for Baleciaga, Bambi kept calling her house, asking her mother when she would return. When she arrived, Bambi asked her out on date, despite the fact that she was engaged. A persistent suitor, he would even call her 15 times a day and wouldn't take no for an answer. He eventually proposed to her in his pad. Bessie begged for time before she could answer. He told her to powder her nose in the bathroom and come back with her reply. After a whirlwind courtship of seven weeks, they were married in Vancouver , Canada , and spent their honeymoon in Lake Tahoe .

Bambi was chivalrous. In 1988, while attending a conference in Hong Kong , he flew her over to spend Valentine's Day with him and fetched her from the airport in a Rolls Royce filled with roses and a bottle of champagne. They met at a suite which had an ocean view, and had the quintessential romantic candlelight dinner there. The night ended with the conception of Blanca.

When Bambi was promoted to area manager of Solomon Brothers' Phibro Energy, the family moved to Singapore . Bessie continued modeling and was now also mother to Isabel, Bambi's daughter with actress Hilda Koronel, and Blanca. Upon his promotion to senior executive, the family migrated to Stamford , their residence for the past 15 years. It was there that their youngest, Ines, was born. Ten years ago, Bambi was appointed by the Noble Group to launch its American operations and became its president. Bessie says that Bambi was quiet about his accomplishments. He was ranked as one of the top five coal traders in the world.

Skeptics thought the marriage wouldn't last, as they were polar opposites. Bambi was a sportsman; he enjoyed skiing, scuba-diving and golf, and spent quiet nights at home, watching the sports channel or reading a book. Bessie loved to travel like a backpacker to exotic places. He preferred the classic destinations and staying in deluxe hotels; any place with less than a four-star category was déclassé to him. Bessie loved getting a massage, watching movies or plays, and the night life. When he went on business trips, Bessie would hie off to New York and party with gay friends and former model Anna Bayle. “We'd hit the gay bars and dance like mad-women,” says Bessie. But he admired her for her patience and self-effacement.

As a corporate housewife, she prepared the meals for Bambi's VIP guests, set the table “a la Malacañang” and dressed up in Filipiniana attire. She would wake up early and drive her daughters to school, do household chores, take ballet classes. At home, she does Pilates. She cooks dinner, picks up Ines, and finds time to sew costumes for her daughter's program or engage in civic work. She is president of the International Club, which supports the Greenwich center for domestically abused women and programs for wayward youth. She indulges in painting, writing; she has co-edited Myths and Legends of the Philippines Volume 2 and an encyclopedia on Philippine art.

Proof of Bessie's love was her empathy for her husband. He was the typical stressed-out executive, frequently tired, irritated after work and a bit of skeptic. When Bessie made her pilgrimage to Lourdes , Bambi joined her. At the shrine, he wept, as he felt his soul was being purged with remorse for the past. He was told that Our Lady of Lourdes had gifted him with unburdening his sorrows. Bambi pledged that he would return every year.

Bessie observed that her husband had eased up. He told her that upon his retirement, he would be a consultant and sit on the company's executive board. Bambi would take his girls to school, while she could stay longer in bed and enjoy dancing the rest of the day. He also told her that, while he spent most of his time in airports and airplanes, he had to secure the family's future. He had prepared his will years before his death.

“Bambi would say, ‘I want to make sure that when something happens to me the girls will be all right. Don't worry. If I die, just call this person,'” says Bessie. Last May, Bessie found him in his favorite recliner in front of the television set. He had died in his sleep. According to the coroner's report, Bambi's vital organs were healthy. “The odds of an aneurysm are one in 100,” Bessie explains. “The blood vessels were fine. Through aging, though, they get worn out. Even if I were there by Bambi's side, he wouldn't have complained because of the ruptured blood vessel.”

Bessie and their three daughters each wear a necklace with a locket holding some of Bambi's ashes. After his death, Bessie was surprised by her husband's generosity. Visitors expressed their gratitude to Bessie, explaining how his support came when it was need. He had helped the rank-and-filed at Noble and at their country club. Noble plans to sponsor a village in his name at Gawad Kalinga.

“My husband worked hard, but he never forgot what was important to him—family. If there's anything I learned from him, it's the need to slow down. I have been doing too many things—volunteer work, choreography for the kids, sewing costumes for Ines' school, etc. What is my priority? In the States, life is so fast, and people do their own thing. Bambi would play golf; I would write or paint; my kids would be on the Internet. Now I want to spend quality time with them. We must communicate and enjoy each others' virtues.”

On with the show, says the performer in Bessie. She will still play homemaker and mother to Isabel, 25 and a nursing student; Blanca, 19, an art history major, and Ines, 11. She pans to stay in the Philippines when her youngest is over 18 and can fend for herself.

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